Late last year, a snapshot of what appeared to be Uber’s financials was leaked to the website Valleywag, and though Uber declined to confirm the numbers, they told the story of a company in mid-boom. Since Uber’s very first ride in May 2010, it has attracted a crazily eclectic clientele, ranging from Wall Street expense-account jockeys to comedian Louis C.K., who recently told a story on Jerry Seinfeld’s web series about using Uber to facilitate a stoned adventure to a 3-D IMAX theater. The fare is calculated by some algorithm of distance and time.
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Drivers in Uber’s network are circling your neighborhood, and by the magic of GPS, the closest one is arriving at your door, oh, right about.now. When you need a ride-in anything from a town car to a Prius-open the app and press a button. Here’s how it works: Download the app and enter your credit card information. I won’t notice the pimp cup he and his friends are sipping from until they get out of the car, which is probably a good thing-I’m a bit of a neat freak, and I’ve never enjoyed so much as a Nutri-Grain bar inside my car. Just for the record, I have been waiting in this brat’s driveway for fifteen minutes while he (I’m just guessing here) stared at himself in the mirror and (again, just guessing here) debated exactly how many rope bracelets still qualifies as casual. Is that an address? Or a business? One of the guys sighs audibly-it’s a bar here in Los Angeles, apparently Silver Lake, to be precise-and then he barks: Turn around and take a left on Sunset. The door slams shut, and a voice from behind me shouts: 4100. It’s after midnight when four drunk millennials climb into my car. But my patience is wearing thin-as thin as the fabric barely concealing this girl’s crotch. Maybe it’s all that burnt drive-through coffee I’ve been drinking.
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